What I then called “fixation” I now understand to be “hyperfocus” within my autistic special interests. Technically, just as everything I do is autistic, my descriptions in these and other notebooks are of an autistic experience of life despite resisting diagnosis, and often embraced incorrect, more familiar terms instead, following my confirmation bias in stream-of-consciousness handwriting, or even spending hours carefully finding the correct words under the wrong term.
More notes on Adorno readings here